Cutting Up Chapter 1, For the Third Time

 This is one of John Trumbull’s most famous paintings, the Signing of the Declaration of Independence. The problem—they’re not signing. See the five men standing? They’re the ones who drafted the Declaration and they’re presenting it to the Second Continental Congress. It hasn’t even been voted on yet.

I had the same problem trying to show what happened on August 2, 1776, when the delegates did sign it.  The first time, I had to piece my research together to tell their story. The second time I discovered they weren’t all there that day. Seven men were missing, so I had to cut up my chapter and sew it back together again. 
​

Part 1 – An Unexpected Discovery: Then in April, I found a new problem…I had the men signing in the wrong order. Uh-Oh! Here’s my cutting story…

I’m always looking for a new book to help me picture the heroes of the Revolution and the men who signed the Declaration. I found them in Extraordinary Patriots of the United States of America: Colonial Times to Pre-Civil War. Meet our heroes from Ben Franklin to Sam Houston, to Jewish and African American patriots. It even includes the Declaration and the Star-Spangled Banner.  And that’s where I found chapter 1 on the cutting room floor.

I read this paragraph. I copied, then bolded and underlined the important part for you…

“On August 2 the delegates began signing the engrossed copy, which measured 24 ½ inches by 29 ¾ inches. the signatures of fifty-six men filled the parchment. Hancock centered his bold signature below the last words of the text.  The other delegates’ signatures started on the right and ended on the left in the order of their state’s location. The New Hampshire delegates began the list, and the Georgia delegates ended it. Some of the men who had voted to declare independence on July 4 never signed the final document.”

That bolded part stopped me. It made me want to forget I read it, but once you see something, you can’t unsee it. I couldn’t believe the founders started on the right side and ended on the left. That’s the opposite of how we read and write…LEFT TO RIGHT…And it’s the opposite of how I wrote Chapter 1.
Then to make it even worse, they started in New Hampshire and ended in Georgia. They went north to south. Of course, I did the opposite. Again.
But just reading it in a book, that didn’t make me cut up my manuscript. First I did some  googling…
​

---

Here’s where I started. This site helped me find the number of late signers, so I trust it. BTW, they said seven.                    Link: The Signing of the Declaration of Independence - The American Founding
​

And this is what they said about the order…

Beginning with New Hampshire, the signers’ names start on the right column of the document working geographically from the northern states to the southern states. Though the names of the states are not mentioned, by following this pattern one can figure out which delegate is from which state. 
​

And if that wasn’t enough, my critique partner, Heather, googled and sent me a screen shot. It was the nail in the coffin. When you have three sources with the same facts, you have to give in and make a change, and that’s exactly what I did!

​​
Part 2 – Planning the Cut: After I decided to revise Chapter 1, I planned how I’d actually do the cutting. It took more time to plan than to do the rest of the revision. The first step, to take another look at the actual Declaration of Independence. This one came from Wikipedia. It’s “a version of a 1823 William Stone facsimile—William may well have used a wet pressing process.”

​How? He pressed ink from the original Declaration onto a contact sheet. He used it to make engravings. Then he printed out his facsimile. 

This is the most important part of the Declaration for me, those fifty-six signatures. As you look across the names, notice the six columns. This time I started on the right. I typed up a document and saved it in my Chapter 1 Word file. It has all fifty-six names. 

Here’s my list. I’m typing it across the page to make it easier to read. The first name, the big one in the center, John Hancock.

Now for column 6, on the far right …John Hancock started with New Hampshire. These are their names in Declaration order—Josiah Bartlett and William Whipple. There’s a third name, but more about him later!

Next up, Massachusetts Bay, John Hancock’s colony—Samuel Adams, John Adams, Robert Treat Paine, and Elbridge Gerry.

Coming in third…Rhode Island and Providence Plantations. Note, Providence later becomes the capital of Rhode Island, and its delegates—Stephen Hopkins and William Ellery.

Connecticut followed Rhode Island. They were represented by—Roger Sherman, Samuel Huntington, William Williams, and Oliver Woolcott. 
​

And the last name in column 6, that’s the missing man from New Hampshire—Matthew Thorton. I knew when I wrote my first draft that he didn’t sign on August 2, but I didn’t know why. I still don’t.

When I got to his chapter, #38, I discovered there were six other men who signed late. I wrote a post about how I cut chapter 1 that second time and put it back together.

PS – I stopped my list here for brevity's sake. If you google the signers of the Declaration, you can find and read all of their names.  
​
​​

---

Part 3 – Making the Cut: This is a screenshot of my revision plan for my 22nd draft. I know, I couldn’t believe I had to make major changes, but I’m all about getting the story right.

I put my notes in red, Start here or New Hampshire. It guided me on the correct order for those signatures. I’m all about the easy button so I moved the old #1 state to 13, and vice versa. I loved the middle…nothing changed!

I used italics on the lines that had to change. In 22 drafts, Button Gwinnet got to say, “Your signature is so large…” It fit what my research said about him, but it didn’t fit Josiah Bartlett. I looked him up. He was a doctor so I had to throw away Button’s signature line and come up with a new one for Josiah.


          It took an hour or two to add the notes and do the actual cutting, less time than I thought.  

​Meet the first signer and the last. On the right as he should be, Dr. Josiah Bartlett, the physician from New Hampshire who signed first. I couldn’t give him the original line. I changed it to something that would fit his personality. A doctor might really tell John Hancock that his signature could be dangerous to his health.
​

​On the left, like his signature really was, Button Gwinnett. My research showed the exuberance I see in this painting. Button wasn’t the last delegate to sign, but he started the sixth and final column. I had to channel my inner Button, and I got a little help.

This is a text message conversation I had with Heather, the critique partner who marks up my manuscripts. Her suggestions help me make my story historically accurate, and a page-turner too.

This conversation took place right after I discovered the sequence was wrong. It got my juices going and helped me get excited about making those cuts.

It took another hour or two to revise and incorporate the changes. The goal, to make the signing so seemless that it feels like it was always written that way.

Then I spent 2 or 3 days going through the chapter to fine tune it. I listen to it over and over again until it’s smooth like silk and tangle-free.
​​
​

Part 4 – The Path Forward: Heather read Draft #23, and she has a ton of revisions for me to look at. On the other hand Callie, my Texas mentor and small publisher friend, suggested cutting one small scene in the second and third paragraph of page 1. She said the rest is ready to send out on submission.
​
So, who do I listen to? Both! I’ll cut that small scene, and I’ll go back through Heather’s comments. I’ll revise the ones that resonate with me, and I’ll let the rest go. If I don’t, this chapter will never be perfect, and I’ll never get it published. 

---

​
​And the road ahead? Chapter 1, 2, and 3 are on the back burner for now. So are 5 and 6. This week I’m working on 4 and 7. The goal is to make a round of revision through all 10 chapters. When I finish, I’ll take another sweep through all 10 again.

​My goal for this novel is to polish Chapters 1-3 for submission.. The other seven chapters I’ll revise until I either sell this  story to an agent/publisher, or decide to publish it myself. Here’s to the finish line, wherever/whenever it is.