My Weaknesses, and How I Deal With Them

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Everyone knows their strengths, but do you know your weaknesses? The things you struggle with? Everyone has them. The important thing is to recognize them, then deal with them.

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#1.  Feeling Overwhelmed: Do you ever have a huge goal to accomplish, and it stops you?  I planned to write about it, but I didn’t expect to experience it too. I have a chapter that I needed to finish. Here’s what I tried today.

- I reread what I wrote. That usually moves me forward, but not today.

- I tried doing other things and coming back to that chapter, but I couldn’t find my way in.  

- I wrote questions about the plot. Then I answered them, but I kept questioning my answers.
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- After trying each strategy over and over again all day, I gave myself permission to fail. I’m pushing out my deadline. Sometimes you need more time to figure things out. It’s not failing. It’s allowing yourself to be human, and I hope, to write a better chapter.
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PS – It worked! Sometimes giving yourself time, it frees up your mind. I finished the first two parts of my chapter. Then I stopped. I decided I’d rather finish later. If I do, I won’t be in a pressure cooker every week to finish a chapter. Now I can finish revising, begin research on the next one, and go back to Chapter One. Why? I want to polish the first 50 pages, then look for someone who wants to help me turn those pages into a published book. I hope the force is with me 😊
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2.  Being Jealous: Have you ever heard of the green-eyed monster? It’s the monstrous feeling you get with jealousy, or have you heard of being green with it? I have, and I’ve spent most of my life being jealous of one person or another.

It was a sign of immaturity. Now that I’m older, I hardly notice it. If I do, it’s just a twinge or a flash. Why? Because now that I’m older, I feel more comfortable in my own skin, with what I have, with what I don’t.

I remember my younger self who thought my brother got better treatment, or who had to be a piano hog. Yes, sad, but true. I was jealous of the other pianist in the 7th grade choir. I wanted to be as good as she was, and I wasn’t nice about beating her. I should have just tried to get better myself, as a pianist. It’s good to be older and wiser, especially in the business I’m pursuing now, as a writer.

Writing is even harder than teaching or playing piano! I’ve worked since 2007 on my stories. I’m lucky – I self-published three books. Yet, I could be jealous of the other writers I know who’ve been published and agented before me.
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What changed? Faith! I have faith that when and if I’m published or agented, it will happen. If it doesn’t, I have faith that it’s not meant to be. When I still get those twinges or flashes from that green-eyed monster, I tell it about my faith, that I’m doing what I’m supposed to do, and guess what?! It works, and that monster disappears!

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#3.  Balancing My Life: I’ve had problems with balance since 1987. Working is in my DNA. I bet my mother and grandmother had those same genes, but it was easier for them. Their work was at home, caring for it, and their family.

I worked in a classroom, caring for my second graders. When my kids were born, that’s when I lost my balance. It always felt like my scale tipped toward work, instead of family. No matter how you divide your time, there’s never enough. I learned you can never give work, or family enough time and attention. Looking back on those years, I wish I had pushed the scale toward my family.

Now that I’m working on my second career, I’m trying to find more balance. I still lean towards the work side. I focus on writing most days, and that imbalance is fine. It’s easier now that my kids are grown, and I’m a grandma. When I’m visiting my kids, or they’re visiting me, I tip the scale toward them the entire time. I don’t see them very often, so family time is precious.
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My balance isn’t perfect, but it’s working, for now. I give up my writing time when our family is together. I write after they go to bed, so for once in my life, my family comes first. I’ve been retired for eight years, and so far, so good. Time will tell if this is the right way to balance my time. And if it’s not, I’ll look for a better way to go. Fingers crossed!

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