I spotted this on one of my Private Facebook Groups, and I saved it to share with you. It made sense to me because I’ve done all of these things, tried to quit, and found myself going back there again. Bad habits, they’re hard to break!
When I went back, my source had disappeared. I did a reverse picture search and found the original site on Tiny Buddha.com. I’m glad to give them credit.
1. Trying to please everyone – Have you ever felt like this? Like everyone wants a piece of you, and you just can’t say no? You don’t have to be a doctor to feel this way. It happens to everyone, even kids.
I’m a retired teacher, and I used to feel that way all the time. I had kids at home and at school who needed me, and I tried to help everyone.
The result . . . I burned out. You can’t take care of everyone, if you don’t take care of yourself. Sometimes that means you have to say no to someone. Just make sure it’s not always YOU. Sometimes you need to say yes to your own needs and wants. If you’re happier, everyone around you should be happier too.
2. Fearing Change – No one likes it. Change is hard, but it’s inevitable. Everything changes. Kids do . . . they grow from babies to toddlers to high school graduates in the blink of an eye, and they’re excited about it. As a parent, I felt torn between being happy and sad.
Fear needs to be handled like anything else. I look for opportunities in it. Sometimes what I fear actually makes my life easier. Look at elementary age kids – no diapers. No terrible twos. It was my favorite time with my three kids.
Losing a job/failing to find a new one – those are hard changes to make. When I’m in the middle of one, I look for silver linings. I wait for them. I know they’ll come, but I have to be patient and wait them out. You can too.
3. Living in the Past – You have no choice. You can’t stay in the past. It will quickly become the present, and eventually the future. Nothing stays the same forever. I’ve been a kid, an adult, a mom, and now a grandma. Each stage had things that were wonderful, and awful.
That’s life. It’s interesting that #2 fearing change, and #3 living in the past can be the same. You have to change to move into the future. For me, the trick is to minimize what’s awful. Then I look for silver linings. There are opportunities out there. Sometimes you have to look for them. Sometimes you have to work, and make them happen.
4. Putting Yourself Down – Are you harder on yourself than you are on anyone else? Me too. It’s important to be honest with yourself, but you also need to give yourself a break, the kind you give other people.
I’m a recovering perfectionist. I’ve learned to forgive myself when I fall short. It’s hard. It’s easier to forgive someone else.
My advice – Put yourself up. Recognize one thing you’re doing well. You have to believe in yourself to get things done. Put downs can stop your forward progress.
5. Overthinking – Do you examine every angle before you start something new? Thinking through consequences is a good thing . . . unless you freeze and can’t move forward.
I overthink things, but I’ve learned to balance it by looking for problems, and then coming up with solutions. If they don’t work, I make a new plan. Life is about problem solving, not perfection. I want to enjoy both the journey, and the challenges.
My Summary – I’ve given you a list of don’ts, but I’d rather finish up with things to do.
1. Please yourself. If you’re not happy, no one else will be either.
2. Examine change. Look at it closely. Does it fit you and your style? Adjust as needed. You don’t have to change, for change sake alone.
3. Live in the present. Learn from the past, and plan for the future, but enjoy the here and now. No one is guaranteed tomorrow.
4. Compliment yourself. Celebrate what you do well, and what mistakes can teach you.
5. Make a plan and test-drive it. Correct as needed. Remember detours can be a good thing.
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When I write, I can only have one voice in my head, mine. A little noise is fine. But too much, or worse yet, WORDS, and I must change rooms or pull out headphones. Then I can write on!