I saw this image on Facebook last June. I saved it for a post, but I never got back to it . . . until tonight. Praise is important for kids, and for everyone else too, but it needs to be done well. I started looking for simple advice that I could use with this screenshot. I found it!
The link: The 9 Best Tips On Praising Children Without Spoiling Them (findyourmomtribe.com)
Tip #1 – Avoid generalizing: Take a look at these 99 ways to praise kids. They’re nice, but they’re not very specific. The good news . . . you can use them to help you get started.
Example – Good job. Be specific. Tell your child why they did a good job. It helps them do it again.
Better – Good job with the table. Thanks for taking the dishes into the kitchen.
Tip #2 – Sincerity is key. Your tone of voice matters. Kids know when you mean it. Be honest with them. Kids don’t have to be perfect. Effort matters.
Example – Good job! You got 3 more spelling words right tonight.
Tip #3 – Stop overpraising your kids. Don’t talk about the things they do every day. Findyourtribe.com suggested recognizing what your kids have done well over time, in school, or with something new.
Example – Good job! You’re landing those cartwheels.
Tip #4 – Don’t compare your kids to others. How would you feel if someone said way to go? Then added . . . you’re almost as good as your big brother. It would ruin everything.
Better – Way to go! You kicked the soccer ball down the field.
Tip #5 – Stop trying to use praise as a tool for control. URGH! Doing that would take all the joy out of the compliment. It’s like saying you did great, but next time you’ll do even better. I’d quit!
Better – Way to go! That’s your longest kick! EVER!
Tip #6 – Praise kids for the right things. Findyourtribe.com said there are two things to praise – achievement and effort. Guess which one is the best choice? Effort! If you praise it, your child will keep trying until they reach their goal. I would too!
Example – Way to go! Your kick is getting stronger every time you practice.
Tip #7 – Share in your child’s enthusiasm. If they’re excited, you should be too. Match your child’s happiness, and you won’t go wrong. And, it’s fun!
Example – If your child’s on Cloud Nine, Super-de-dooper! You scored the winning goal. If they’re quietly happy, You played a good game. Your passes went right where they needed to go.
Tip #8 – Be creative with praise. It can be a high five or a favorite treat. Don’t be afraid to live in the moment. Who doesn’t like a good surprise?
Pay attention to your child’s moods. When they’re feeling down, that’s a great time to reward the little things they do, like making their bed or eating their veggies.
Example – Thank you for making your bed all week, without a single reminder. Or slip a note in their lunch box. Little things mean a lot! I used to give out Hershey kisses for kids who turned in all of their weekly homework.
Tip #9 – Knowing how to deliver praise in the first place. Here are a few great tips from Findyourtribe.com . . .
Real praise is a good thing, for kids, their parents. For everyone. Do you remember the last compliment you got? I do, and it made me glow, from the inside out.
Praise builds relationships and trust between people. It can give you confidence, inspire you, and improve your mental health. Great things, whether you’re 1 or 100!
When I write, I can only have one voice in my head, mine. A little noise is fine. But too much, or worse yet, WORDS, and I must change rooms or pull out headphones. Then I can write on!